How To Thwart A Cult In 3 Easy Words...Or, Why I Love The Internet

I like to think of myself as a fairly open-minded person.

But, and that's a big but, what the fuck is wrong with Jehovah's Witnesses?
They're crazy!
Or dumb.
Or brainwashed.
Personally, I think it's more of a combo of 1 and 2, but that's just me.

You might find this hard to believe, but sometimes I have difficulty in being rude to someone.
If I somehow manage to get cornered into speaking with a solicitor, I have a hard time interrupting them to tell them I'm not interested.
I could blame it on my parents: "Thanks, Mom and Dad, for teaching me manners! *sigh*"
Or I could be thinking, "You know, this person probably hates what they're doing (or was brainwashed by their cult; i.e. Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses) and they're just trying to make a living. Would it kill me to let them finish their little spiel before I tell them that I cannot be brainwashed and their time might be better spent elsewhere?"
Of course, I am usually thinking all of that to myself while they're talking, so I'm not listening to anything they're saying, which would be construed by most people as being rude anyway, but whatever, at least I'm smiling and nodding and pretending like I care.

I remembered having a conversation with a past co-worker, in which she told me an extremely simple way to keep a Jehovah's Witness from trying to suck you into their cult, or even from talking to you.
I couldn't remember what it was.
But it kept gnawing at me.
[camera pans down to show the fox chewing on my leg]
"Stop that!"
So I wanted to find out about this whole Jehovah's Witness business, and how I could keep them from babbling on about their cult.
Not that I've had an encounter with a JW in years, but one can never be too prepared.
I love the Internet because it totally satisfies my whole "I need to know NOW" philosophy on life and that you can discover anything in mere seconds if you just know the right questions to ask jeeves, or google.

All you have to say to a JW is:
"I am disfellowshipped."

If they hear those 3 simple words, they have to shut up, turn around, walk away, and never speak to you ever again, as long as you both shall live, lest they themselves become "disfellowshipped."
That's the word that they made up (which just proves to me that they are, in fact, dumb for making up such a stupid word) to mean "excommunication from the cult."
Further proof that Jehovah's Witness-ism is a stupid cult:
(I pulled this directly off of a website)

Jehovah's Witnesses disfellowship and shun people for:

• No longer claiming to be called a brother/sister.
• Independent study and discussion of the Bible that brings Watchtower doctrine into question.
• Possession of literature written by former members.
• Having lunch with a former member, even if the former member professes to be a Christian and was not disfellowshipped for fornication, greed, idolatry, reviling, drunkenness, or extortion.
• Attending a service of any other church or religious organization.
• Authorizing a blood transfusion, even to save the life of a child.
• Numerous other actions not mentioned in scripture, but deemed by the congregation elders to be "unclean conduct," or "conduct unbecoming" of a Jehovah's Witness.

What the fuck? Are you kidding me? "How dare you celebrate your own birthday (which is considered idolatry to them); how dare you have lunch with another human being; how dare you save the life of a child; how dare you educate yourself to discover everything we taught you was a lie, you are now shunned for eternity!"

So, now, whenever you see a JW, say it loud and say it proud:

"I am disfellowshipped!" ...it sure beats having to talk to such a ridiculous idiot anyway!