So I'm making yet another attempt at reviving a dead horse. Or am I beating a dead horse? And why does the horse have to be dead? I still have a lot to say, it's just that most of the time I don't feel like actually sitting here and writing it all down.
So here's the thing. As many people will tell you, I may look like a white boy on the outside, but on the inside I'm all Patti LaBelle. That being said, I'm not current on my Ebonics. Now here's where the mini-stream of consciousness comes in:
I'm sitting in my vehicle listening to BKLYN the musical. There's a character named "Paradice" (that's P-a-arra-a, d-i-C-e, because I was born with nothin' but a pair o' dice around my neck), who sings a song called "Super Lover."
A couple of lines from the song go:
And some say this girl ain't up to the task.
Why don't you do yourself a favor and ask the Lone Ranger while I sit on his mask.
(I know, it's stupid, especially out of context...)
Anyway, Paradice is basically the female-Broadway-character version of Shirley Q. Liquor. So then I began to think, "How would Shirley Q. Liquor say that?" or, "WWSQLD?"
She would say:
And some say this girl ain't up to the taks.
Why don't you do yourself a favor and aks the Lone Ranger while I sit on his maks.
Aside from finding that terribly hilarious, I began to wonder why don't people talk like that?
Whether you're just ignant or you have a speech impediment, if you say ax instead of ask, or excape instead of escape, why wouldn't you say tax or max or bax or flax instead of task or mask or bask or flask. Or is it just that people who say ax would never use words like task or bask or flask? Inquiring minds want to know...
On another note: Has everyone seen the commercial for that product called "Head On"? This commercial makes me angry in ways I can't even describe. It cost exactly $1.95 to make. All it is, is a woman standing in front of a green grid background holding a stick on her forehead. The dialogue of the commercial goes like this:
HEAD ON! Apply directly to the forehead!HEAD ON!Apply-directly-to-the-forehead!HEADON!Applydirectlytotheforehead!
Yes, that's correct. Just 7 words repeated quickly three times in an obvious and completely unedited loop. Aside from the wretched quality of the audio, there is absolutely no indication as to what the product is for or what it does. Just get this stick, and apply it directly to the forehead! Duh! Everyone is doing it! Forehead Stick! Get it!
I suppose one could assume that Forehead Stick is in some way supposed to alleviate headaches. But, if the quality of the commercial indicates the quality of the product, I think that I would rather stab my own brain through my nose with a knitting needle than to try that crap.
Kamikaze Subject Change:
Come watch me sing at the Orlando Gay Chorus concert this weekend!
For details and info check the website at Orlando Gay Chorus
or contact me.
