Weekend Randomness

Mario Cantone has entered my top 5 list of favorite comedians. When I can watch the same stand up show 3 times or more with pain-laughter (i.e. the kind of laughter that actually causes you physical pain) that comedian is automatically A+ in my book.

I will now recreate one of the freakin' hilarious moments from Mario Cantone's Laugh Whore that makes me laugh until I stop. He talks about how he used to host a children's show called
PVC-Pipe Up My Alley, or something like that. (It was actually called Steampipe Alley, that was just me being funny.) (It's even funnier when I have to tell you that I'm funny.) Anyway, he proceeds to explain how he made the children recreate the schoolyard scene from The Birds, wondering out loud why Alfred Hitchcock would do something like that to children, then he says... I'll tell you why... It's because of that song that they sing in the school room with the window open. You know, the one that goes around and around and around...
I went to town to see my wife
nipplety nopplety
clippety clappety
willicky wallicky
now, now now!

*flap flap flap* (birds wings flapping, congregating by the school)
*flap flap flap*
(key change step higher)

I went to town to see my wife
nipplety nopplety
clippety clappety
hobbledoo wobblety
crackety sackety
lickety dickety
now, now now!

*flap flap flap* *flap flap flap*
*flap flap flap*
(key change step higher again)

I went to town to see my wife
crackety sackety
lickety dickety
fuckety suckety
assity wassity
shittity wittity
dumpety wumpety
faggoty waggoty
dykety wykety
lickety fuckety
suckety dickety
assity shittity
dumpety wumpety
fuckety cockety
lickety suckety
dickety assity
suck on my cockity
NOW, NOW NOW!!!

(key change step higher yet again)

I went to town to...SHUT UP!!!

wooo...I was laughing just typing that. I think I peed a little. That's true comedy.

On another note:

I was a little bit disturbed when I discovered which Desperate Housewife I was.
...not that I think it's untrue...
I just had an epiphany when I realized... Hey! I am more like Edie than any of our other favorite Wisteria Lane girls. It saddens me. I don't want to be in the supporting actress category...I'm a star! But there it is in print:


Congratulations! You are Edie Britt, the serial
divorcee whose romantic conquests have everyone
buzzing.


Which Desperate Housewife are you?
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