"Ugly" Is a Behavioral Trait

KP-PB/STEPB/OE/P-P/TAOEUP/KP-PB/STPHAOUT
If you can read that title, you are either a stenographer or a bigger nerd than me. (It says Stenotype Institute.) Anyway, this is what I am going to school for. I have had to alter my life-plan several times over the last few years. More about that later.

I feel the need to comment on other students at my school. As it says above (and to the right), my life is like a Seinfeld episode, and that is true in more ways than one, including how my friends and I make up nicknames for just about anyone and everyone. That being said, there is this chick at my school that has a couple of choice nicknames. We refer to her as either "Shorts" or "Ba-donk-a-donk." Now, Shorts is a girl who probably weighs close to 400 pounds. She's either really comfortable with the way she looks, or no one has ever told her that she shouldn't wear micro-mini jean shorts (hence the name). My vote is the latter. She is so disgusting and repulsive, and the part that makes it unbearable is that she has a personality to match. Now, I am not prejudiced, or fat-ist as it were. One of the teachers at the school is also a very large woman, but she always dresses in a manner that is very flattering, conservative, and professional. You can tell she takes the time to make sure that she is presentable, and she is actually quite pretty. On the other hand, Shorts comes to school wearing these jean shorts with about a 1/2" inseam, that proceed to crawl upward throughout the day, creating the largest camel-toe in existence. When she stands up, her legs look like 5-gallon tubs of cottage cheese, and there are usually these big, red pressure blotches on the backs of her legs where they were mashed into the seat. It's one of those things where you can't help but to stare, while at the same time suppressing the urge to void your lunch all over your loafers. As if that wasn't enough, she is also probably the most annoying person I've ever met in my entire life. She causes unnecessary distractions in the classroom with her moronic comments, tries to butt in to other people's conversations, and I'm quite sure she has never had an intelligent thing to say in her life. I'm not sure I can even begin to describe how much nobody likes her. I think maybe the reason why no one has ever said something to her about the way she looks or acts is that they probably feel sorry for her. It's kind of sad, really, when you think about it, but then I am reminded that it has a child, and it upsets me all over again. Why must people like that breed? It shouldn't be allowed! You should have to pass rigorous mental examinations before a sort of Board of Directors for Breeding.

This actually ties into something that happened in high school. I took part in developing the "Board of Ugly" with my best friend and one of her friends. It wasn't necessarily about physical unattractiveness, but more about "ugly behavior" such as stupidity, ignorance, prejudice, that sort of thing. Anyway, the members of the Board would examine everyone and determine whether or not they were fit for breeding. If you were deemed unfit for breeding, you would be prohibited from doing so. It wouldn't stop people from having sex, they would just have to get "fixed," like we do to our pets. In theory, it's a really good idea. Who knows, maybe in the future someone will pick up on it as a form of population control.