Maybe I Lied...

...about being on hiatus.
Apparently I have more to say after I officially declare taking a break from blogging.
I followed the link on David's blog for xmas-mad-lib-fun here
This is a truly unedited first attempt at a letter to Santa:


Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at David's Office party. It was Melinda who spiked the punch with too much milk. I can't help it if I drank 18 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Pine Sol.

I thought it was funny when I put Alyson's g-string on my head and danced the Lambada on the bed while singing "All I Want for Xmas is You." I didn't mean to break David's iPod and don't know why David would accuse me of murder.

I don't remember calling Chris's wife a green cow -- even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and blue lipstick!

And when I threw up on Marcie's husband's penis, it was only because I ate too much of that broccoli.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my smart car through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a filthy pig and have me arrested for armed robbery!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all disgusting and pukey. And I'm really not to blame for any of this shitty stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!


Sincerely and gaily yours,

Todd-Michael (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 11 bucks!

I've done a lot of MadLibs in my day, and it's rare for a story to come together like that. Usually you get some funnies, but most of the time you get disjointed nonsensical stuff that just doesn't quite work.
Anyway, that's my holiday cheer!
Happy Ramahanukwanzmastice!

Christmastime for the Jews

I feel the need to come out of hibernation for a brief moment to share what is most certainly the best Xmas song ever written:

On Hiatus

I will blog again.
I'm just taking a break for a little while.
See you then!

When will then be now?

...Soon!